She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
