u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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