If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
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He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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