oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
