the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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