Little spoons don't ask big questions
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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