I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
