Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
