forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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