question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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