i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
