Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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