Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
