I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
