i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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