The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
