Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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