Cold hands, warm shart.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
