She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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