I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize