she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
