Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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