they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
