I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
