OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
