Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
