I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.