Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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