i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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