i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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