remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize