So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
