Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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