And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
