I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
