we're blogging at a bar
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am spending my child support on dildos
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
