ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize