Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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