yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I could make wine with my vomit
only you would photoshop your dick
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
