Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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