Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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