are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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