i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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