this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
