sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
