I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
