I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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