Your dad touched me again.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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