Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I have post one night stand depression
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