Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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