The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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