Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
