Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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