I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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