CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize