Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
