we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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