I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
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So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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