wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
