my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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